So much wisdom and depth in this piece Annette. I loved your thoughts on pleasure and activism. It really is a missing ingredient in how we approach change and its strange how much we have to learn to cultivate joy, how easy to get drawn into sadness or our pain. I wish I could jump into the sea with you for the fun and pleasure of it!
Strange indeed how we must relearn joy, so conditioned we are by capitalist scarcity and the religious glorification of suffering. I would love to jump into the sea with you. As a matter of fact, I dived in this very morning for the IWD swim with my tribe of Seagirls! 🌊🧜🏻♀️
Annette, a big fat "yes" to pleasure!!! This is such a gorgeous offering and invitation to us on this day. Your words hold so much power. Thank you for them. And I absolutely love the photo of your tribe of seagirls in the water. Beautiful! x
Thank you so much, Kelly, I knew you'd 'get' this! This IWD swim was gorgeous despite the heavy cloud and intermittent rain - such joy and warmth to be felt in the cold water. I even dived in!
Oh my goddess. Can we snuggle on a couch and talk all night long about desire and pleasure and all the things you wrote?! I feel our pieces for IWD are so kindred, as are we. Thank you so much for the incredibly vital way in which you've laid this out. This conversation is so important. I went through this whole trajectory, of wanting, desiring, shame, over the last many months in a way unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It landed me right into a very deep need to get far, far more comfortable with Pleasure. And so, I am apprenticing to Pleasure for the forseeable future. And your post just gives me so much energy to keep going with that. I love this piece! "To succumb to your desire is to fail." This line though. Mmm, we will be free when we know it is to succeed. Have you ever read "Pussy: A Reclamation", by the way?
Oh my goddess, Amanda, what a response to read on this sunny misty Sunday afternoon in Ireland! I devoured your piece yesterday, it is so powerful, and for you to think we are kindred spirits, well, what an honour! I hesitated for so long before committing to writing about desire and pleasure, hence the caveat when I published it that it's not as polished as it could have been. (And I haven't been able to read it again since.) I guess you could say I've been apprenticing to Pleasure for a few years now, and wild swimming has had everything to do with it! The book Pussy, A Reclamation has got on my radar recently, maybe in a post by you or Celeste Davis, and it's now firmly on my tbr list! Let's keep this conversation, and our apprenticing, going! 🔥✨🌊
Wow Annette, such a potent message that has given me much juicy food for thought and will stay with me. Sadly I feel that the ‘good girl’/people pleasing conditioning of my younger years clouded my concept of my own desire. Early motherhood too has skewed wants/needs, and yet at the same time, mothering has brought me back to a sense of ‘knowing’ that I had lost for a long while. Thank you for singing this song of joy, pleasure and desire as a priority for us all xx ps I LOVE your poem xx
Thank you so much Lyndsay! I don't think any girl/woman escapes the good girl conditioning, unfortunately, and it is sad indeed that it takes us so long and so much inner work to begin freeing ourselves from it. I totally 'get' the tension you talk about between your desire and motherhood. I often talk about this abrupt transition as going from being (very relatively) selfish to becoming selfless. Personally, it was sea swimming that brought me home to myself, hence my mild obsession with the selkie's tale!
Thank you for this amazing IWD party on Substack. It truly feels like being part of something special! xx
Yes indeed, the de-conditioning is a work in progress but I am glad to be aware of it whilst mothering a daughter (and a son). And yes! The transition is brutal and beautiful in equal measure. I am so glad to hear that the water has brought you back to yourself. I have found mothering to be a homecoming in that I have turned inwards, but also it is sometimes hard to remember myself at all! One of the many contradictions of motherhood. Thank you for being a part of the Siren Songs xx
Yes, yes, yes Annette. I had to google what a selkie was (love it). I could feel my heart fluttering and that fire burning in my belly as I read every sentence of this piece. Thank you for your words :)
I love that you went to look up what a selkie is 🥰 Thank you for reading and feeling the same fire I feel. So grateful yo have found you thanks to this amazing IWD Substack party! 🔥
Thank you Annette for including me, I had a few, mostly angry, feelings on IWD this year having mostly felt ambivalent, as you say, in previous years. A day hijacked by performative missives from organisations wanting to shift the optics. But now, so many can't even be bothered to do that which means my ambivalence is no longer ok. Leave it with me. I have a few hours on the train tomorrow. I'll be taking my notebook with me and using the change of pace and location to see what emerges under the simmering anger.
Annette this is brilliant. I love every word of it. It stirs up in me a sense of rage and fire that I was shamed so much for my desires when I was young, and that internalised shame is still very present for me. Pleasure as a path to liberation is radical indeed.
I adore your poem and all you share here! Thank you xx
Thank you so much Lauren x
Thank you, Annette 💜✊🏽❤️
You are such a fierce inspiration Mona 🔥
So much wisdom and depth in this piece Annette. I loved your thoughts on pleasure and activism. It really is a missing ingredient in how we approach change and its strange how much we have to learn to cultivate joy, how easy to get drawn into sadness or our pain. I wish I could jump into the sea with you for the fun and pleasure of it!
Strange indeed how we must relearn joy, so conditioned we are by capitalist scarcity and the religious glorification of suffering. I would love to jump into the sea with you. As a matter of fact, I dived in this very morning for the IWD swim with my tribe of Seagirls! 🌊🧜🏻♀️
Annette, a big fat "yes" to pleasure!!! This is such a gorgeous offering and invitation to us on this day. Your words hold so much power. Thank you for them. And I absolutely love the photo of your tribe of seagirls in the water. Beautiful! x
Thank you so much, Kelly, I knew you'd 'get' this! This IWD swim was gorgeous despite the heavy cloud and intermittent rain - such joy and warmth to be felt in the cold water. I even dived in!
I have chills! Thank you for sharing!
So thankful for your reading and sharing.
“I desire, therefore I am!” Mmmmm this is gonna be resonating in my a while. Thank you. ❤️
Thank you Nicole 🔥
Oh, how I love everything about this. Thank you.
Thank you so much Liza 🙏🏻
Oh my goddess. Can we snuggle on a couch and talk all night long about desire and pleasure and all the things you wrote?! I feel our pieces for IWD are so kindred, as are we. Thank you so much for the incredibly vital way in which you've laid this out. This conversation is so important. I went through this whole trajectory, of wanting, desiring, shame, over the last many months in a way unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It landed me right into a very deep need to get far, far more comfortable with Pleasure. And so, I am apprenticing to Pleasure for the forseeable future. And your post just gives me so much energy to keep going with that. I love this piece! "To succumb to your desire is to fail." This line though. Mmm, we will be free when we know it is to succeed. Have you ever read "Pussy: A Reclamation", by the way?
Oh my goddess, Amanda, what a response to read on this sunny misty Sunday afternoon in Ireland! I devoured your piece yesterday, it is so powerful, and for you to think we are kindred spirits, well, what an honour! I hesitated for so long before committing to writing about desire and pleasure, hence the caveat when I published it that it's not as polished as it could have been. (And I haven't been able to read it again since.) I guess you could say I've been apprenticing to Pleasure for a few years now, and wild swimming has had everything to do with it! The book Pussy, A Reclamation has got on my radar recently, maybe in a post by you or Celeste Davis, and it's now firmly on my tbr list! Let's keep this conversation, and our apprenticing, going! 🔥✨🌊
Wow Annette, such a potent message that has given me much juicy food for thought and will stay with me. Sadly I feel that the ‘good girl’/people pleasing conditioning of my younger years clouded my concept of my own desire. Early motherhood too has skewed wants/needs, and yet at the same time, mothering has brought me back to a sense of ‘knowing’ that I had lost for a long while. Thank you for singing this song of joy, pleasure and desire as a priority for us all xx ps I LOVE your poem xx
Thank you so much Lyndsay! I don't think any girl/woman escapes the good girl conditioning, unfortunately, and it is sad indeed that it takes us so long and so much inner work to begin freeing ourselves from it. I totally 'get' the tension you talk about between your desire and motherhood. I often talk about this abrupt transition as going from being (very relatively) selfish to becoming selfless. Personally, it was sea swimming that brought me home to myself, hence my mild obsession with the selkie's tale!
Thank you for this amazing IWD party on Substack. It truly feels like being part of something special! xx
Yes indeed, the de-conditioning is a work in progress but I am glad to be aware of it whilst mothering a daughter (and a son). And yes! The transition is brutal and beautiful in equal measure. I am so glad to hear that the water has brought you back to yourself. I have found mothering to be a homecoming in that I have turned inwards, but also it is sometimes hard to remember myself at all! One of the many contradictions of motherhood. Thank you for being a part of the Siren Songs xx
Yes, yes, yes Annette. I had to google what a selkie was (love it). I could feel my heart fluttering and that fire burning in my belly as I read every sentence of this piece. Thank you for your words :)
I love that you went to look up what a selkie is 🥰 Thank you for reading and feeling the same fire I feel. So grateful yo have found you thanks to this amazing IWD Substack party! 🔥
Thank you Annette for including me, I had a few, mostly angry, feelings on IWD this year having mostly felt ambivalent, as you say, in previous years. A day hijacked by performative missives from organisations wanting to shift the optics. But now, so many can't even be bothered to do that which means my ambivalence is no longer ok. Leave it with me. I have a few hours on the train tomorrow. I'll be taking my notebook with me and using the change of pace and location to see what emerges under the simmering anger.
Oh Harriet, I can't wait to read what emerges! 🔥🔥🔥
so much food for thought here Annette. Your words on desire really hit home x
Thank you so much Layla xx
Annette this is brilliant. I love every word of it. It stirs up in me a sense of rage and fire that I was shamed so much for my desires when I was young, and that internalised shame is still very present for me. Pleasure as a path to liberation is radical indeed.
The rage and the shame, right!? Thank you so much for your response, Ellie, and welcome here!